Heather is the self proclaimed Peace And Carrots Idiot and Airhead Patrol. (PACIAAP)
If you say the accronym correctly, it sounds kind of like "Pack it up", which is precisely what Heather will say to you if you are a pain in the butt.
If you don't follow farm rules or if you cause trouble, cost us extra money, make our lives difficult or act crazy, Heather will creatively give you the boot.
Ways to have a pleasant stay:
1) Do Everything Heather Says.
She's The Supreme Goddess Of The Universe. She's an Only child. She's used to getting her own way. And she DOES have the power to kick you out. So suck up :-)
2) Listen To Our Advice.
We live here. We know if it's below zero and there's 5 feet of snow on the ground. It may be sunny and sixty where you are, but trust us, It's freezing here. And no, we can't plant anything outside then.
3) Be Helpful.
If you tell us you're going to help out, you dang well better. If you just want to drop by for the day and see what's happening, bringing an offering of chocolate wouldn't hurt. :-)
4) Be Considerate.
For example: If it's past 9, we've been talking to you all day and keep hinting that we want to go to bed, to the point of turning out all the lights and going into our respective bedrooms --- don't sit at the kitchen table making a lot of noise playing games. You're welcome to do that OUTSIDE.
Ways To Get Blacklisted:
1) Showcase your bodily functions.
If you have a cold, BLOW YOUR NOSE!!! We do not want to hear you snorting up your snot every 3 seconds.
2) Not do something when you say you will.
If you offer to do the dishes while we're away, and we come home three days later to find the stack even higher, I will make you do penance dishes for a week.
3) Steal Stuff.
If you want something, ask. Chances are you'll get it.
If for instance, you take off without paying bills you've run up in our name, I have no qualms about becoming a bounty hunter and getting the money back.
4) Leave 5 pieces of cereal in the bottom of the box.
This is not going to fool us into thinking you haven't been a hog. Please throw out the liner and put the box in recycling.
The above examples are true and have been experienced at Peace And Carrots Farm.
If you do something bad, we'll tell horror stories about it long after you're gone. Everybody will know about the things you have done. So please, don't be stupid in the first place. We'll all get along much better. :-)
